I dreamt of a life I had. / I'll always be that child.

I just woke up from the most gorgeous dream.

I dreamt of the time when everything was still wonderfully innocent and carefree.

Rushing down late to school in a cab, where the driver took a wrong turn and went a big round, finally stopping at the foot of a hilltop park. He stopped the meter at the wrong turn, and got pissed when I asked for a receipt to verify. All other receipts from 9.45 pm last night came tumbling out as he ‘doesn’t print receipts’.

Ran off through the hills toward school while staying hidden from the powers that be. Texting and calling my classmates to arrive at the right moment in between lessons. Christopher Lian would be 10 mins late cos he’s taking a walk with his sweetheart?!

It’s off to the food centre then to get breakfast for my besties as I bump into Yif and Ben (or was it Mike?) on the way. We all troop back to school with tau huay and drinks.

Back at school, it’s the last day of the term.. But we’re apparently back at SCGS! We change classmates and classrooms after every term and everyone clears out their desks of heavy textbooks while snapping pictures.

Then I wake up.

I wish life would always be as simple, beautiful, innocent, reckless and uncomplicated. When I hadn’t yet learnt what people were really about.

Errrr. What’s wrong with me? Just get a grip. It’s only fleetingly temporary. Like Karl Lagerfeld’s muses? And remember how it ended after five years? You’re a muse.

So, what do I like about Anderson? A very good question, because I have absolutely no clue.

I want to live a fuller life by sharing it with someone else just as wonderful.

Dream, or reality?

To dream that you are having sex with an ex or someone who is not your current mate, denotes your reservations about embarking in a new relationship or situation. You may feel nervous about exposing yourself or currently feel a resurgence of those old emotions and feelings that you felt back when you and your ex were together. Believe it or not, it is not uncommon for those who are approaching their wedding to experience especially erotic adventures with partners other than their intended spouses. This may be due to the intensity of your sexual passion with your fiancée. It also relates to the new roles that you will be taking on and the uncertainty that that may bring.

The Quadrangle

Have you ever heard of a love quadrangle? Well let me tell you about it.

Cheryl wants Anderson. Anderson wants me. Cheryl’s been nothing but a most fantastic girl friend to me. I want Anderson. Eka wants me. Eka and Anderson are cousins like brothers.

Yeap.

Someone tell me how this could possibly happen please??

And we wonder why my love life’s non-existent. SHEESH.

Of boys and men

I KNOW. Finally figured it out. Anderson’s moving aside for Eka. Now, did that just seem really Egotisical or what?!! Muahahahaaaha

Of boys and men

I think that’s how our relationship is set up to be. I’m always waving from the window as he stands and watches the car drive off. Just standing there, always looking on quietly.. But not quite. As if trying to figure something. Figure things out, figure me out, or even try to tell me something, or maybe you’re trying to figure out if I’m ok? I don’t even know what, and I don’t ever know. The same way Chan looks at me.
O Dear Eka, what is going on in that head of yours? You’re the only one I’ve never been able to figure. I guess that’s also going to be the other constant.

And Anderson, the one I’m constantly obsessing about, the one I’m always looking for. I guess it’s just not meant to be.

Dreams

Had a really strange dream last night where alex was relentlessly trying to get back together. Like really relentless. Going to check the dream dictionary now.. Haha I AM disturbed indeed..